Caitlyn Jenner to pose NAKED for Sports Illustrated. Will her boobs AND balls make an appearance?

Posted on May 4 2016 - 5:00pm by Kareem Smith

Caitlyn

F.Y.I….By the time you read this I would have already thrown up my lunch! Here I am at work, minding my damn business about to tear into this burger, when I get word that leather skin Caitlyn Jenner may be taking her clothes off for Sports Illustrated Magazine. It’s reported that he is set to appear on a summer cover of Sports Illustrated wearing “nothing but an American flag and her Olympic medal.” WOW! The 66-year-old I Am Cait star (formerly known as Bruce) set a world decathlon record at the 1976 Montreal Summer Games. To celebrate the 40th anniversary of his win, she’ll pose with his gold medal for the first time since changing the bathroom she goes to. He has stated before that she had stashed his “most prized possession” at the bottom of her makeup drawer not so long ago. Look….I don’t care what he does with herself these days, and apparently nobody else does judging by the ratings of his show. However, what I don’t want is to pass the checkout stand at the grocery store and see her naked as a jay bird looking back at me. Can y’all imagine seeing that piece of tilapia fish sprawled out across the cover of that magazine holding onto what’s left of her relevancy?? My blood pressure and cholesterol levels go up just thinking about that mess. He must be getting a pretty penny to do it, or maybe she’s doing it for the promo. Whatever reason he’s doing it for, she should know that NOBODY wants to see it. As with all things Kardashian/Jenner related, I’m sure Kris is behind this and is probably the one taking the damn pictures. See, I just got sick all over again thinking about it. Anyway….nothing much more to say about it, I guess we will see what transpires in the next few months. Will you be supporting her and picking up a copy or is he tired and yesterday’s news? Let’s discuss it!

About the Author

Comedic Blogger along side the hysterical Funky Dineva.

19 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Melinda Evette May 13, 2016 at 6:14 am - Reply

    SUUUUPER petty with using the multiple gender cues. Bravo! LOL

  2. Wots May 10, 2016 at 2:47 pm - Reply

    hey check out my podcast wordonthestreetpodcast.com

  3. really May 6, 2016 at 6:27 pm - Reply

    Yes I surely do think he will transition back but I don’t really people believe what they want to believe maybe it helps you sleep at night but bruce will and always be a man playing dress up he is not a women in his heart and I will never believe he is you think he really cares how you and I feel all we are to him and his entire family is an income so while all you LGBT support him sit back and see how much he supports you he doesn’t even believe in gay rights he’s a cross dressing conservative for god sake he’s a walking contradiction that’s like being black and not liking black people it makes no sense and if it doesn’t make sense it’s not right all I’m saying is you all deserve a REAL and better spokesperson who is going to stand for you and not just glamorize your movement you daughter so hard to be where you are today to still barely be aknowledge but caitlyn is welcomed and over looked because he was once bruce he doesn’t share your pain where was he before he tried to come out idc if it was the 80s he chose this timing because he Benifits from it he could careless about the real struggles cause he really doesn’t have to deal with them and he’s not gonna help yall he needs you more then you need him

  4. really May 6, 2016 at 4:10 pm - Reply

    Bruce jenner I will not say Kaitlyn because he is not a women neither in mind body or soul bruce is still very much bruce and I feel sorry for the true transgender people who really do have this struggle I am a huge fan of you dineva and though I am not gay or lesbian or Trans I’m a huge supporter of the LGBT community because I know it is not a choice to be this way it is who you are you are human you deserve love you deserve to be who you are with ought judgment and ridicule but again BRUCE is making a mockery of your community and a hefty profit while all in all still having a penis so why I ask if you feel like a women in your heart as he says why wouldn’t you want your body to feel the same because he’s a narracist and a liar and a kardashian at heart he’s learned from the best how to fool the public ask these questions all his surgeries are superficial he got breast that can be easily removed his face can be surgically changed back but it was already messed up but why not take away your man hood because he has every intention on changing back he wasn’t waiting for his kids cause he was never a father he’s old enough to where no one cares to stop dealing with him he made enough money to do what he wants the world is becoming gay friendly so he hopped on the band wagon no one cares about little old bruce jenner but caitlyn makes headlines

    • Izzy May 6, 2016 at 6:18 pm - Reply

      Really. I think it’s great your a supporter of the LGBT community. But what Caitlyn has done is definitely not for more attention. That is absurd. What man would go to those lengths just for fame? And to question Caitlyn still having a penis is very out of line. Being gay I don’t always understand that either but there are other Trans women who still have there penis for one reason or another. Ts Madison is a transgender women who still has her penis and she isn’t doing it for fame. If you dont like Caitlyn that is fine but to try and question her transition which mind you she started in the 80’s but stopped because of fear of it coming is out of line. You need to educate yourself before making such blanket statements about something so serious. You REALLY think after all Caitlyn has done she will just cut her hair,take her books out and be like it was all a joke? Come on now.

  5. Fix It Jesus May 6, 2016 at 3:12 pm - Reply

    Kareem, you do realize you work for Quentin right? Did he give the green light for this to be posted. As hard as Q has been working to clean up his brand I don’t think this is ok. If Kaitlyn Jenner makes you throw up in your mouth, that’s ok but keep it to yourself. Your boss is gay and dabbles into cross dressing for fun and keeps us entertained. Q is also a big supporter of LBGTQ rights. Someone like Kaitlyn that has been struggling with this her whole life should not be made fun of. Take this unfunny post down.

  6. Dberry Monroe May 6, 2016 at 11:19 am - Reply

    Funniest blog you’ve written so far. The pronoun switching had me DYING at work! lol I could care less about Caitlyn Jenner posing nude! Its nasty and I don’t care to see it! Shout out to you Kareem!

    • Kareem Smith May 6, 2016 at 1:24 pm - Reply

      Ha ha ha…Glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the compliment, I appreciate it!

  7. Stanhope May 5, 2016 at 10:49 am - Reply

    2 raisinettes and a crispy cheeto? How far the fall from the tyra cover.

  8. Truth May 5, 2016 at 2:20 am - Reply

    Fact: Transgenderism is a mental illness. I don’t care about what gender you “feel” like or want to be. Bruce needs to disappearand seek mental treatment.

    And before one of you emotional, illogical commenters come for me, do some research and you will see that this is indeed a mental illness, unlike homosexuality.

    • Chichi May 5, 2016 at 11:26 am - Reply

      Truth, I partially agree. I’m unsure of the transgenderism part; however we can agree that Bruce/Caitlyn has some issues in general.

      We don’t want to see you naked, hell I think most of us are tired of seeing Kim’s naked ass.

  9. Dan May 4, 2016 at 11:23 pm - Reply

    You’re an ignorant, transphobic prick. I don’t want to see her naked either because she’s a 66 year old Kardashian but that’s no excuse to be disrespectful of her gender identity/trans people in general.

  10. Kim May 4, 2016 at 10:24 pm - Reply

    Dude watch your pronouns. I know you’re trying to be funny, but it isn’t. I’m sure there are transgender people that view this website. This is not the platform to be so disrespectful.

  11. Renaldo Hunt May 4, 2016 at 10:05 pm - Reply

    I see this article as being written more as a satirical piece of “infotainment”, not a political attack against the LGBT community. Caitlyn is brave to have emerged from her closet after all this time, yet one cannot ignore the fact that most of the “success” she has achieved and the awards she has won are because of her life BEFORE the transformation. What I do not see is her making significant contributions to the LGBT. What I do see her doing is lining her pockets, using this transformation as the catalyst.

    I truly believe that anyone reading this article more than likely because you expected entertainment, not a soapbox from which to yell to the masses. funkydineva.com is one of my favorite websites simply because its writers aren’t afraid to take any issue and give silly yet entertaining commentary through blogging. This article didn’t attack Caitlyn, so who are we to attack the blogger who wrote the article? Hell, Kareem didn’t make Caitlyn agree to pose for SI, much less make her do it NAKED. You put yourself IN the news, you can’t be surprised when people report it. Satire sites exist to entertain, not become the catalyst in every social movement in America.

  12. Jerzee May 4, 2016 at 9:13 pm - Reply

    For me its not that a naked trans woman on the cover disgusts me. Its the fact that its Caitlyn Jenner, who by the very nature of his former life’s celebrity, has been shielded from the struggle of the LGBT community. In fact Caitlyn still supports a political party that habitually and indiscriminatly marginalizes people who Cait considers as her mentors and friends. Bruce, in my opinion, does not garner the hero title because of his transition. He is a hero because he is an Olympian. I dont think its fair to use Bruce’s life and accomplishments as a way to sheild Caitlyn from the discrimiation and disenfranchisement that other transgendered Americans suffer with. Im just not featuring her…this whole thing was messy and when I look at women like Laverne Cox and Janet Mock…and then watch Caitlyn….just no….

  13. Ron Goines May 4, 2016 at 6:29 pm - Reply

    Your article and the manner in which you address Caitlyn is offensive…..The way in which you use the pronoun “he” to refer to Caitlyn is offensive and blatant as well……Caitlyn even In her ‘less than’ shining moments, is still representing a community made up of hundreds of thousands of unique, diverse individuals that deserve to be spoken about with a respect…when you start talking about her genitalia and all the pronoun switching which was clearly intentional the article isn’t Dineva usual brand of shade and candor……..its transphobic!!!
    .
    I am thankful everyday for having someone like Caitlyn out in the world helping represent SO MANY PEOPLES story, braving the ups and downs of a public transition for the sake of the greater good, being willing to take on the backlash and hate because, in her own words, “…she can take it. they shouldn’t have to.”
    the privilege born from her history, the money that allowed for the transition that so many wish they could have had (smooth, seemingly effortless, all at once….and beautiful in its own right) is not something that I have had disdain for even once. I am actually happy that that is out of the way for her…so she can move forward with the good work she is trying so desperately to do…(and fortunately has the means to do!)
    Her platform is an incredible one. She’s reaching so many people. She’s showing a world full of folks trying to come to terms with their identities that there is never an, “its too late”, and she’s normalizing and humanizing the trans-spectrum on a level that reaches those young kids in Kansas who just can’t quite figure out what it is that is different about them…or that just learned…and don’t have anyone else to look up to/at for support/guidance/encouragement.
    …and so much more.
    I don’t like to take bold, overt stances often. I’m not confrontational by nature and I sure as hell am not fond of stirring the pot for the sake of entertainment, attention or any other self-benefit.
    With that said…
    I stand w/ Caitlyn. The journey she is on and the work she is doing is important to me. “Equality and justice is not a single community’s fight, it’s everyone’s.” I will not allow her or any of my LGBT brothers and sisters to be taken down by friendly-fire if I can help it.
    you have chosen to publicly criticize Caitlyn Jenner. You have felt the overwhelming desire to try to put her in her place for DARING to do something like this (making history) ….. or because her opinions are not YOUR opinions or because they do not line up with the “perfect community representative (or ally)” that you expect and ARE (because I assume you are)….

    • LASTTSSTANDING May 4, 2016 at 7:56 pm - Reply

      I agree with u Ron 100 percent! It’s sad when LGBT come for their own people. But when it comes to this LGBT game… the trans gendered women are the less respected and looked down on period point blank . I am a trans woman and all my issues and can’t takes have been with my own color… which is black and when it comes to the LGBT… it’s the butch queens that can’t take the girls. Cuz they wish they had the balls and courage to do shit we do. Little do they know it’s bitches out here that have died for this shit and have paved the way for a lot of u hating ass people. But folks quick to talk shit but u don’t talk shit to the straight folks who hair, makeup, and eyelashes yall do that laugh and talk shit behind yo back and making money off our sayings and lingo while u hoes crafting for ball room trophies. Fuck outta here!!!

  14. Yolanda May 4, 2016 at 6:27 pm - Reply

    I like the use of her she him and his lol to funny

  15. Lou's Son May 4, 2016 at 6:14 pm - Reply

    Will discussing this change the level of your disgust, Kareem?

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