Kandi’s Wedding: Fantasia Drunk Bootz, Mama Joyce Had An Attitude, Dinner Served At Midnight

Posted in reality tv, RHOA

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Y’all work with me here. I have not had the motivation to blog as of lately, so some of my T’s are delayed. Anyway, I was a wedding guest at Kandi’s wedding and overall, it was a phenomenal wedding. I’m late at this point, but I’m sure by now you guys know who all was in attendance. I’ll skip all of that and speak on some of the stuff you guys have been hearing about as it relates to Fantasia and Mama Joyce.

First off, let me take a moment to go the hell off. Never again will I attend a wedding that is being produced for television. The wedding invitation said the wedding started at 5pm. Chile when I was walking up the stairs at 5:20pm, Fantasia was just getting out of the car all dry faced, with no makeup on and a sweat suit. I thought to myself “awwww sh!t, this is going to be a long day.”

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Once inside, the music was pumping and the cocktails were pouring. Chile, 3 hours later, everyone was like “why the f&ck are we still standing in this reception area drinking this tired a$$ wine?” Finally at around 8:15, we were called to move to the ceremony area. You would think at that point Kandi would have strolled her ass down the aisle. Think again! We sat in the ceremony area for another hour before Kandi brought her ass out. Now at this point, a b!tch was ready to go. Here it is, its after 9pm on a Friday, a b!tch hadn’t eaten since lunch, we had been drinking wine since 5:30, a b!tch is half drunk, hungry, and my feet hurt. Y’all know dress clothes only have about a 4 hour lifespan on them before they start becoming stuffy and uncomfortable.

At around 9:15, Kandi comes gliding her ass down the aisle. At that damn point, I was so hungry and had to pee so damn bad, I didn’t half care what the hell was going on up on the stage. All I kept thinking to myself was, “can they hurry up and jump this damn broom so I can jump this bathroom line?” Y’all know they got me all sewed up with these confidentiality agreements, so all I can say is the ceremony was awesome. To protect myself, I can only speak to what has already been leaked. Hell, that way, I can look at them hoes and say “b!tch, I ain’t the one who leaked Fantasia was drunk bootz and cussing like a sailor during her wedding speech. That sh!t was all over the internet before I even said anything.” See how that works? Ok, back to the story…

dsc_0139-001Ok so after the ceremony, they moved us back to the waiting area, while they converted the ceremony area into a dining area. Pretty customary. I’ve gone to plenty of weddings where this was done. The real gag is, the hors d´oeuvres we had created  a whole knew definition of “light hors d´oeuvres”. Chile them thangs were stingy. Nessa Girl I was OVER Miss Kandi hunty! You mean to tell me it is now close to 11pm, a b!tch is drunk, I ain’t ate since lunch, and you got the nerve to serve me a crab cake the size of a nickel?  Ohh hell no ma’am, The Doll is not going for this. Chile, myself, Mona Scott-Young, Tracy Christian,  Benzino, and Stevie-J, had done packed all our sh!t and was on the way to Houston’s. Hunty, it was 11:15 and I was on the phone with Houston’s checking to see what time they closed and letting them know that we were on the way. As we were hightailing it out the door, Kirk Frost stopped us and threw a wrench in our escape plan. Kirk pleaded with us to stay, and bribed us by saying if he could get us into the dinning area right away would we stay? Considering it was now 11:20, factoring in the drive to Houston’s, and also factoring in that it couldn’t be much longer before they actually served dinner, we decided to stay.

Chile, now that its 11:30is and all the guest are inside the dinning area, you would think we would begin eating right? Chile, them people brought out the stingiest mixed green salad i had ever seen, then had the nerve to put a small squirt of dressing in the corner of the plate and some some damn walnuts. I was thinking to myself, “b!tch y’all could have kept these damn walnuts and gave me some more salad.” I ain’t gone lie though, I was so damn HOWNGRY, that was the best salad I had ever had.

Ok, its about 11:45, and a hamster sized portion of salad is not enough to counteract 6 hours of drinking. Bring on the main coarse, NOT. Chile all food services STOPPED as Kandi & Todd came out and dis their first dance and all that jazz. It was beautiful. Y’all will catch all that on the wedding special. After they sat their asses down, finally a little after midnight, we could eat! Yasssss there is a GAWD. The food was good, yata yata yata.

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Ok, Miss Fantasia and Mamma Joyce. Let me tell y’all something, Fantasia Barrino must have been drinking since 5:15 just as fantasiathe rest of us, because mama’s wedding speech was RAUNCHY as hell. Chile mama dropped more F bombs and called Kandi more b!tches than I could handle. Mama was just rambling on & on, and non of it quite made any sense. Wedding guest were mortified. At one point, Sherry Sheppard yelled “Fantasia.” I heard some old woman say “ohhh somebody needs to get her.” Quiet as its kept, after being on my feet for all them damn hours with no food, this was just the kind of entertainment I needed to make up for the trauma and starvation. I was tickled as hell. The debauchery stopped when all the brideMAIDS made a bee line for Fanny and huddled around her and subtly grabbed the mic and began giving their speeches.

Mama Joyce, what can I say? She looked nice. Her hair was layed to the Gawds. Uhhmmm she didn’t look happy, she frowned throughout the ceremony, and quite honestly looked as if someone twisted her arm to participate in the wedding.

There you have it. Chile i done f&cked around and got hungry writing this long ass post. Let me get my a$$ off this computer and make me a real salad. BYE

#I just realized that I’m an excellent story teller…

 

145 thoughts on “Kandi’s Wedding: Fantasia Drunk Bootz, Mama Joyce Had An Attitude, Dinner Served At Midnight

  1. I loveeees me some Ms. Funky Dineva chile!!! That tea was just what I needed theses magazines lie too much give me the real tea of how it was…I would have left and got some food and came back…all that time…could have took a nap got refreshed and came back…I love Kandi but that was out of pocket

  2. How about word on the street is the muck mouf Reco Chappelle designed and made her dress……….*sipstea*………..

  3. Pingback: Kandi’s Wedding: Fantasia Drunk Bootz, Mama Joyce Had An Attitude, Dinner Served At Midnight | All Eyes On Who?

  4. “Her entrance was the best part.” – Monica – Well yeah her entrance was the best part after yall waited 4 hours! Way to put things nicely Monica.

  5. Soooo not surprised by any of this. Who starts serving dinner at midnight?? Tacky, tacky, tacky just like the dress.

  6. Funky Dineva, you are too much. I was at work sleepy as all get out and I started reading about this wedding. I was dying laughing. My coworkers thought I had lost my mind. I need to see you more on TV. I think it would be great for you.

    • lmao same here… My supervisor had to tell me to bring it down a notch I was laughing so hard… I expect this type of stuff from Kandi bc she is NEVER on time!

  7. Kandi bleeds hood & ghetto! She’s always late, talks with her mouth closed, and always wearing something 2 sizes too small & out-dated. Todd got “in it” to win it. Mama Joyce will be saying “I told you so” in a couple of years.

  8. Im not predjudice, but they said that the guy to the left is Latrice Royale´s lover. Is she his Lover or his Help? Do he have her outside or inside? do he wine and dine her?

    I Mercedes Starr wonna knowIm not predjudice, but they said that the guy to the left is Latrice Royale´s lover. Is she his Lover or his Help? Do he have her outside or inside? do he wine and dine her?

    I Mercedes Starr wonna know

  9. Im not predjudice, but they said that the guy to the left is Latrice Royale´s lover. Is she his Lover or his Help? Do he have her outside or inside? do he wine and dine her?

    I Mercedes Starr wonna know

  10. This sounds horrible. You making all this money off filming your wedding and you make your guests stand around for 5 hours with no dam food! Nope. Here’s my gift. I gotta go.
    I want to see pictures of the guests. Was there a party and dancing after or was everyone over it at that point? Film crew calls a wrap and everyone hits a drive thru on the way home?
    Mama Joyce looks miserable. She looks like her social security been cut off.

  11. Well on your wedding day the bride approves what she wants – and thats what she wanted . Was the cake good? :) I though the theme was cute though since they met in Africa.

  12. YEAH you are indeed a STORY TELLER because this terrible article is just that a big story. So happy the TRUTH sets People free.! SMH!

    Kandi & Fantasia are friends for LIFE!

  13. With the details of the story, I felt as if I was there!!! Chile that Costco sample of crab cake and salad would of had me 38 hot!!!!
    I love Tasia, but Bay-bee she would have had her mic turned off!!

  14. Pingback: Kandi Burruss And Todd Tucker First Ever Wedding Photos Released By In Touch Magazine + Inside Scoop On Wedding | I Hate My Publicist!

  15. Lol..you are super funny. Everything I’ve heard on the radio you said it with a splash of super funny. Smh. I hope nobody is surprised Fantasia is ghetto in a good way & once the liquor starts flowing you just never know.

  16. Chile I guess….

    This wedding sounds like a big mess! I like Kandi and all but she is cheap and has NO style! That dress is ATROCIOUS and I don’t like the mismatched bridemaids dresses. It looks like there was no coordination and she just told them to grab a white dress and show up.

    I checked out the venue where she had the wedding and it looked like some ghetto VFW hall. I’m broke and I wouldn’t have my wedding at that spot. The few pictures I have seen, the wedding looked like it was just thrown together.

  17. You wrote on Twitter hours before the wedding that Kandi is cheap. A lot of us already knew this but I thought on her wedding day, she was going to SPLURGE. How ironic! I’ll skip the tiara and go straight to point. That dress!

    $20.000 on a dress that was made by an Instagram designer. The dress (it doesn’t deserve to be call a gown) have the color of a newspaper that have been lying around for years. It looks cheap, tacky and dirty.
    Kandi is the richest but the dowdiest of them all.

    • Shes only cheap with nonsence.her home is paid in full. She paid millions for a fixer upper and fixed it up for another mill. Shes smart when it comes to budget

  18. Oh well – that’s the price you pay for 1 – Being loyal to your friend/manager who hooked you up on A Mother’s Love (exposure) ; 2 – filming something for television (you should know by now it’s going to be long and 3 – next time you will know to go to the ceremony and skip the rest.

  19. And ya’ll all know NeNe, had she been there, would have left as Funky Dineva was beginning to. This was ridiculous. And I agree that Mama Joyce should have stayed her ass home if she wasn’t going to be happy for Kandi. I’m glad Kandi acting on her own and didn’t listen to her mother who meant her no good. Congrats to Kandi, Todd and Riley! May you all have a happy and everlasting life together! Can’t wait for the baby boy.

  20. This may be petty but for someone who was so mad at Kim for stealing her baby name, why did Kandi think it was cool to steal Nene´s idea for the white BRIDEmaids dresses? She is wrong for that

  21. Oh Dineva Kandi is going to get you! ROFLMBAO at your commentary! Unfortunately, I can believe Kandi doing this to her guests because she always seems to lack common sense. Yes she has business sense, but I think she skipped the line when the when the Lord was handing out common sense. And we all know how cheap as hell she is. Hence the nickel size crab cakes!

  22. i would have left after an hour and a half!!!! I bet the wedding was really nice though. But I have no tolerance for lateness

    • Kandi be late for everything on the show… how did anyone expect this wedding to start anywhere near on time. I can’t stand a late person…

      • Remember lasr season she made errbody late to Nene’s dinner in Hollywood and then at the brunch at the golf course before Savannah because she had to stop off and get something to eat? Maybe she was hungry and hadn’t eaten all day so she and Fanny stopped at Carl’s Jr. or Wendy’s before the wedding.

  23. ROTFMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AT THE WEDDING DETAILS.. THAT IS BEYOND CP TIME – THAT WAS JUST PLAIN RIDICULOUS. I WOULD HAVE LEFT – GOT MY GRUB ON AND CAME BACK… I DONT DO HUN-GA-REE WELL – I TURN INTO A TRUE BEYOTCH!!!

  24. Who can digest anything that late? I knowed (yes knowed) I’ve have been ignent and ordered a pizza with delivery to the reception location. Did Kandi’s daughter seem happy at least? I suppose Mama Joyce had to go to the wedding to be the “something old”.

  25. yes i heard fantasia embarrassed kandi and that is ashame she should know better than that, and it should not surprise anybody that mama joyce was feeling salty but oh well she better get use to it now.

    • “stunning” can be either BAD like an unexpected slap on the face or GOOD like a proposal on a football jumbotron. Which stunning do you mean???????

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