A Fist to the Face Won’t Stop Danity Kane from Getting To the Money

Posted in music, reality tv

danity

Written by Tatyana Jenene @TatyanaJenene

All 150 Danity Kane fans weep no more, the girls are still trying to make fetch happen with this new album, even after Dawn Richard allegedly punched Aubrey O’Day in the back of the head this past August. A police report and a few overdramatized “open letter”/press release later, somebody must have noticed their Wells Fargo account is a smidget lower than it has been over the last year.

Aubrey O’Day and Shannon Bex posted a video on Aubrey’s Instagram account announcing that the album is coming after all. The “group’s” last album will be called “DK3” and will be released on October 28th, with presales starting this Friday at midnight. In total the album will have 10 tracks including the buzz summer single “Lemonade” featuring Tyga. A new song called “Rhythm of Love” was posted to their soundcloud page last night and so far Dawn Richard hasn’t publicly came out to support or condemn the album being release. Check out the Instagram announcement and the new song below:

 

Are you buying “DK3”?

Prepare Yourself…for a Fourth Round of Scandal

Posted in Scandal

Scandal-Season-4-promo-cast

Written by: Spencer Blohm

For Scandal fans, the appetite for the show’s trademark high impact drama, intrigue, and, of course, scandal, was left less than satiated last season after Kerry Washington’s pregnancy resulted in the number of episodes in season three being cut from 22 down to 18. That, along with the many months that have passed since that dramatic season three finale have left many of the Gladiators ravenous! So, now that season four is almost upon us (the 25th!) where did we leave off? Warning: this post will contain spoilers so if you haven’t caught up to the season three finale you can easily binge-watch all the episodes online or on demand through DirecTV or your cable provider. Once you’ve done that, come back here and refresh your brain again for the premiere!

We last saw Olivia on board a plane, heading to an undisclosed location that turns out to be a beach, along with Jake. Following both the revelation that Mellie was raped by Fitz’s father and their son Jerry’s death, Fitz ran back to Mellie, leaving Olivia in the dust, again. After a season of back and forth between Jake and Fitz, Olivia chose Jake (well, really Fitz didn’t choose Olivia). How this will pan out in the next season is likely to be more of the same; Olivia being pulled in both directions, with perhaps more of an edge to Jake given the fact that they’ve been away together for two months before she ultimately returns to D.C. in the season four premiere. No doubt, Olivia has been lured home by Fitz who, off the sympathy of the voters following his son’s death, won his election.

As far as the death of Jerry, and Adnan, well, they were all Eli’s doing. After a season of trying to convince Olivia (and us) that he isn’t a monster and her mom (Maya) is, turns out they’re both pretty awful people. Eli killed Jerry as revenge for Fitz “taking” his daughter as well as a way to get B613 started up again with him in charge in order to hunt down Maya on behalf of Fitz. As far as Maya goes, it looks like her days of running amok are over as we last saw her in the famous hole at B613 headquarters, where Eli is sure to thoroughly enjoy torturing her.     Continue reading

Gabrielle Union’s Attorney’s Try To Get Nude Pics Removed From Blogs. The Letter They Sent. MY RESPONSE!

Posted in SWEET TEA

106 & Park Live

So chile. I was on my Rich White Woman kick this morning. When I woke up, I didn’t feel like doing anything, so I didn’t. When I woke up from my Snow White like slumber, I had an email from Gabrielle Union’s attorneys demanding me to remove the nude pictures of her I posted on my Tumblr site and a list of other demands. A few unread emails up, there was a notification from Tumblr that they had removed the post due to someone filing a complaint. Non the less, Gabrielle’s issue as it relates to FunkyDineva.com was pretty much resolved without me having to do anything thanks to Tumblr’s ass.

Being served legal notices like this all the time, The Doll is fully aware of her rights. I wasn’t half shaken nor stirred by this letter from Gabby’s Attorney’s, but I want y’all to see some of the ridiculous demands they were making, as if I worked for them! Girl BYE!  Check this ish out:

gabby 2

Chile y’all have got to read page 2 of this letter and my nice nasty response to her attorneys below.

gabby 2

Here’s my response:

funky dineva's email

Lowkey, the pictures had already been removed by Tumblr, so I don’t want these hoes to think they made me do anything. lol I’m so petty. Ohhh if I’m not gone make my money off her titties, I’m gone make my money off these ridiculous a$$ letters and emails…

FYI Gabrielle Union, these pictures will forever survive on the net in some form or fashion. Quiet as its kept, Gabby’s a$$ knows she needs all this publicity leading up to the premiere of Being Mary Jane

T.D. Jakes Plans To Take Jeezy To Court

Posted in Complete Devastation To The Nation

jezzy td jakes

Written by Tatyana Jenene @TatyanaJenene

Oprah’s favorite Bishop is not happy with Young Jizzle from the bottom of the map. T.D. Jakes has announced that he plans to take legal action against Jeezy over an unauthorized sample of Jakes’ sermon called “Don’t Let The Chatter Stop You” that is featured on Jeezy’s song “Holy Ghost” remix, featuring Kendrick Lamar.

Jakes has not publicly expressed what exactly is his suing for, but the Bishop took to his Facebook page to announce the upcoming lawsuit:

“SPECIAL NOTICE: The ‘Holy Ghost’ remix by Jeezy featuring Kendrick Lamar was produced without the knowledge or consent of TD Jakes, TDJ Enterprises, Dexterity Music or its associated companies. We are taking the necessary legal actions to stop the unauthorized use of T.D. Jakes’ intellectual property.”

Now, ya’ll know you can’t sample or use any pastor’s voice without giving them their 10% for God. You know some of the leaders of the church are worse than Sallie Mae and the IRS combined when it comes to snatching the money that folds –not jingle. Check out the sample below (right in the beginning of the song):

SCRATCH & SNIFF: Which Is Worse, Teairra Marí’s Itchy Kitty or Her Attitude?

Posted in Complete Devastation To The Nation, reality tv

Teairri-Marie-9-16-14-1

Listen y’all, I got the house this morning sometime after 1am. After crawling in bed, Love & Hip Hop Hollywood was on tv, and I figured I’d watch it until I fell asleep. Let me be the first person to say, I AM NOT HERE FOR TEAIRRA MARI and her antics AT ALL. And why the hell is spelling her name so damn complicated? Ghetto a$$. Let me tell y’all something, this R&B Divas hopeful is trying so hard to avoid ending up on TV One’s UNSUNG, that she is turning up for the sake of turning up and making an ass out of herself as she goes. Quiet as its kept, if she ran a rag between her legs as vigorously as she ran her mouth, perhaps she wouldn’t need pills & potions, powders & creams, to cool that fire that’s rolllin in her deep! Ya Feel me (Lil Scappy voice)

It saddens me that we now live in a time where cutting up on a reality tv show is everyone’s way out of the hood. Thanks a lot Evelyn Lozada! You really paved the way. While I’m on “making it out of the hood”, is it me, or is Teairra Mari homeless? Love & Hip Hop Hollywood opens up with Teairra talmbout she is “house sitting.” Girl bye! That is code for “I ain’t got no place to stay.” Have y’all notice that thus far, she has been in a permanent state of “house sitting”, and ain’t been home yet? Chile and you wonder why Ray J stop messing with her. Her “boom box” got that super bass and she ain’t got no business about herself. All things constant, I guess I’d have a bad attitude too.

If Teairra thinks one time that she is going to be the Joseline Hernandez of Hollywood, she might as well hang it up. No tea no shade, the guys on LHHH are far more interesting than the girls, and are overshadowing them at the moment. I honestly was expecting Teairra to come on this show, and NOT give the people what they were expecting. Rumors of Teairra having an atrocious attitude have plague her for years. All jokes aside, industry insiders always make mention of how the label had BIG PLANS for Rihanna & Teairra at the same time. However, the opted to drop Teairra because of her bad a$$ attitude. Chile I guess. On second thought, not having any real tangible musical talent, I guess turning up for a check is her only option at this point. Work ain’t honest but it pays the bills!

Here’s what we know, if the reality tv stuff does not work out for Miss Mari, she can always go be a spokesperson for Vagisil and Monistat, AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. Ewww chile, how embarrassing. BYE!

 

Madea Goes To Lamaze Class. Tyler Perry Expecting A Baby

Posted in Uncategorized

tyler-perry

Now look, before we event get into this, let me start off by saying “I don’t make the news, I just report it, okay.” Nessa girl, “The People” say Tyler Perry is expecting a baby. Chile, they say Perry announced last week at his 45th birthday celebration that he is expecting his first child. Quiet as its kept, we think it might be some ole Virgin Mary immaculate conception type of hoodoo going on, because ain’t nobody said nothing bout no wife, girlfriend, or cut buddy being pregnant.

For the last 5 years, Perry has been dating Gelila Bekele, a 28-year-old Ethiopian model and philanthropist. However, as of recent, sitings of these two together have been pretty non existent. Considering Perry’s firm Christian beliefs, it is reasonable to assume that he isn’t “creating” a baby perse’, being that he isn’t married, or at least we don’t think he is. It is more reasonable to believe that Perry will be adopting or entering some sort of surrogacy arrangement.If he did go the surrogacy route, I hope he consulted Sherri Shepherd first…

Chile this sounds real LGBT based to me hunty… I tried not to go there, but hmmmm. Maybe Oprah is Tyler’s baby mama? Wouldn’t that be something?  All shade aside, It think Tyler Perry has a lot to offer a child. Any child he parents, regardless of the circumstances surrounding their birth, is going to be one lucky kid!