Why Are Reality Stars So Hellbent On Using Homosexuality As An Insult? Being Gay Is Not An Insult!!!

Posted on Mar 14 2013 - 7:45pm by Funky Dineva


Post Written By: Anti Intellect. The Views and opinions of the post are explicitly Anti Intellect’s

What is it about Love & Hip Hop Atlanta that makes the cast so hellbent on using homosexuality an insult? The past few months have seen at least five members of the cast using the possibility that another cast member might be gay to attack and insult them. This form of homophobia is quite common in our society that all too often treats being gay as something negative, something to be ashamed of, and something that is degrading.

Twitter has most often been the location where these homophobic arguments among the members of the cast have played out. Earlier this year, Mimi and Benzino got into an argument on Twitter which saw them both using the prospect of the other being gay to attack and insult one another. Mimi threw out that Benzino is “suppose to be a heterosexual” and that they should “talk about the dicks in his ass.” Benzino accused Mimi of having had a threesome with another woman, and having performed oral sex with another woman. Both of the are examples of straight people using the specter of homosexuality as something to attack and/or insult another person with. The idea being that not being straight is something one needs to be ashamed of.


Joseline, another member of the cast, has had her fair share of Twitter arguing that involved homosexuality being used to insult a fellow member of the cast. Joseline, herself the target of homophobic and transphobic attacks, took to her Twitter to call out fellow member of the cast, and sometimes boyfriend, Stevie J. During the October exchange, Joseline says, “Don’t get mad cause I don’t want your gay ass no more, your faggot ass undercover.” She goes on to say, “Dudes get mad when you find out they faggots.” Joseline uses outright homophobic language, and the prospect of Stevie being gay, to attack him during their argument. Joseline would later claim that she wasn’t talking about her Stevie J.

kirk k michelleThe most recent example of reality “stars” using gay as an insult involved K. Michelle and fellow member of the cast Rasheeda’s husband Kirk Frost. Frost repeatedly implies that K. Michelle is a lesbian in an attempt to attack her. Kirk attacks K. Michelle saying, “You’ve had so many relationships with girls in ATL you gotta move. I’m waiting for you to be real, let it be known you like women.” On the surface, these comments may not look homophobic, but as far as we know, K. Michelle identifies as a straight woman. Further, Kirk “outing” K. Michelle is, itself, a form of homophobia often used to shame and attack others. K. Michelle uses male femininity to attack Kirk and imply that he, himself, is not straight. She says, “You are a grown man walking around with four earrings in your ear.” The exchange between K. Michelle and Kirk takes on a decidedly sexist and misogynistic nature along with the fact that it is homophobic. Kirk calls K. Michelle a “tramp”, a label often used to attack women for not fitting a sexist notion of womanhood. And K. Michelle’s questioning Kirk’s sexual orientation–because he has multiple earrings in his ear and argues with women–relies on sexist notions of what is appropriate for men and women.

[K. Michelle and Kirk Frost Read Each Other For Filth On Twitter. Fake a$$, Molestation, Gay, Piss & MORE]

The homophobia, sexism, and misogyny witnessed during the arguments these arguments are by no means unique to VH1, Black people, or reality TV. We live in a culture that, unfortunately, continues to see homosexuality as shaming, negative, and insulting despite the historic strides that are being made in the LGBT rights movement. Further, sexism notions of men’s and women’s behaviors and choices continues to be taught and condoned in the wider culture.

As a proud openly gay man, I want Mimi, Benzino, Joseline, K. Michelle, and Kirk to know that my sexual orientation it not an insult. I suggest straight people find another way to attack each other when they argue. There is nothing wrong with being gay.

Anti-Intellect is a DC-based social media activist and essayist.
About the Author

60 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Olivera Langston September 4, 2013 at 12:50 am - Reply

    There is something wrong with it!! Ask God. He said it’s an abomination. You’re saying it’s okay cuz it’s something you like doing. I wish people like you and the media would stop this lie saying this shit is okay, making kids think it’s something they can do, and it’s okay. Hell naw!! You weren’t orn this way!! You probably got molested by a man at a young age or it’s just some disgusting shit you just choose to do. It’s a choice, and you can help it!! Stop the damn lies!! You gon bust Hell wide open. There is a place for your gay ass in Hell!!

    • Anonymous May 7, 2014 at 10:01 am - Reply

      You know what else is an abomination? Seafood and bacon

  2. ddos vps August 4, 2013 at 7:33 pm - Reply

    Hello friends, how is all, and what you wish for to say about this paragraph, in my view its truly amazing in favor of me.|

  3. Song Mei O'Neal via Facebook March 18, 2013 at 7:02 pm - Reply

    Believe me, God does not care if you’re gay or straight!

  4. Kisha Harrelson via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 4:16 pm - Reply

    It is an insult not only to men but to GOD as all other SIN!!!!!

    • sharika March 16, 2013 at 2:11 am - Reply

      why the hell then are you even following funky dineva …like seriously … it makes no sense

  5. Ja'Vanity Wade via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 4:08 pm - Reply

    I think they use it as an insult when the person is gay but is trying to hide it. Like if they are in the closet.

  6. Demetria DeeDee Bradley via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 4:06 pm - Reply

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    • Ashley K March 19, 2013 at 10:48 am - Reply

      Get your funky A$$ off here that bull! If you work from home then why the hell are you on here! Ain’t nobody got time for that!

  7. Carmen MsBrown Carter via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 4:06 pm - Reply


  8. Ty Teon via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 4:03 pm - Reply

    @Kozy I think it’s ignorant to take your friend’s opinion of themselves and associate it as a general opinion of people who relate to their sexuality. Their story isn’t everyone’s story. What I do agree on is that there is a choice to act on your sexuality, but that does not just apply to homosexuals. As a heterosexual you made the choice to act on your sexuality as well which is no different than me choosing to act on mine. Still though the choice does not excuse the natural feelings that one has toward the same sex or the opposite sex. That attraction is not learned nor is it a choice to feel that way. I think the comments that believe that being called gay is an insult or that believe being gay is a choice are rationalizations of both avoidance and denial. To avoid you’re recognizing the problem but don’t offer an solution to address the problem and those that are in denial don’t see this as being a problem at all. Society really needs to get with the program and look at people for who they are and not for who they believe they are!

  9. Tammy Miller via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 3:27 pm - Reply

    So True, and there are many successful homosexuals.

  10. Rob Robert via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 3:20 pm - Reply

    Because they are ignorant

  11. MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 2:01 pm - Reply

    so a man (patriarchy) can be dishonest about his other ’19 women and baby-mamas’ to his wife but not his ‘homeboy’ whom he experimented with ONE time? Do you see why rappers feel they can call you all kind of ‘h., b’s,…put credit cards in ‘light-skinned women’s behinds? It’s dl mentality like yours that keep black women on the ‘damn bottom. dl also means irresponsible men who donate sperm to depressed women, but never step in as ‘daddy, boo.

  12. Kozy Korner Katering via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 11:49 am - Reply

    several of my friends told me they chose to be gay and wasnt born that way…and even if they had thoughts to like the same sex… they never chose to act on them…….so thats why my understanding of being gay is by choice because you have to make the decision to act on the feeling inside you…i cant seem to think children that are born right now actually is gay…its doesnt make sense to me…but to each its own…gay straight bi sexual…im responsible for me….and im straight…

    • MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 1:33 pm - Reply

      the law allows you to be whatever you want to be; whosoever has a problem with it is dishonest, mean-spirited, and miserable. ‘black folks’ too busy tearing down and throwing stones at others WILL remain at the bottom in the USA.

  13. Katina F Babay via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 10:10 am - Reply

    if your not gay it might be an insult to some.. if u were straight u’d understand.

  14. Jeff Garrett via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 9:19 am - Reply

    Happyn Blessed, don’t the bible also say that slavery is ok?

  15. Funky Dineva via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 5:29 am - Reply

    Happyn Blessed your understanding is all wrong then. Who in their right mind would choose to be ridiculed, outcasted, forced to live in secret?? Some hell of a choice. Additional, it ain’t what it is. You bring up the bible and god, but the WHOLE world is not christian. What if someone is Buddhist? You can’t take what christians believe and apply to EVERYONE in the world. I don’t want to start a religious debate. I respect your religious beliefs. However, I encourage you to NEVER again in life say being gay is a choice. TRUST ME, IT IS NOT.

    • Nikki March 15, 2013 at 7:54 am - Reply

      I agree that homosexuality is not a choice. I have grown up with friends who were gay in kinder garden. However, bisexuality is an entirely different matter.

      I have lived most of my life in Southern California, in and around the entertainment industry. Out here, people change their sexual orientation with the weather.

      • MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 1:40 pm - Reply

        when u know better, you do better!–maya angelou

    • MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 1:38 pm - Reply

      exhibit A, the Constitution’s ‘first’ amendment is freedom of religion: a hateful white supremacist religion (white jesus) is the last thing black people need about now w/ 68% black male unemployment and 1000 dead kids in Chicago. -ruth

  16. Happyn Blessed via Facebook March 15, 2013 at 1:14 am - Reply

    Being gay from what i understand in human terms is a choice..but n da bible its an abomination./this word defined is disgusting..n god made us n he calls it disgusting..then it is wat it is..2 him..and it seems 2 care about what god thinks or what he purposed 4 mankind…

    • MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 1:48 pm - Reply

      do you ‘haters with judgments’ stand up against the ‘straight uncle-aunt-cousin TOMS who shoot everybody that moves in the ghetto? /that’s where your judgments and ‘bibles are needed yesterday.

    • sharika March 16, 2013 at 2:18 am - Reply

      I cam name a whole bunch of straight people that are abominations ….like ted bundy … osama bin ladin …. hmmm you get the picture. sexual prefence does not dictate wether you are god like or not … being straight does not make you a better person it just makes you a person … straight people do some crazy things … Let use common sense

  17. Kozy Korner Katering via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 10:13 pm - Reply

    like she said she would be proud of it…..he is the queen..and it will come to light soon

  18. Simonne C. Greene via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 9:27 pm - Reply

    Being gay isn’t an insult, it’s the lying about who you are and misrepresentation that’s insulting. Be free to be.

  19. Mookey Zulu via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 9:10 pm - Reply

    Its an insult to someone who thinks being gay is an insult!

  20. Nikki March 14, 2013 at 9:01 pm - Reply

    You make a number of valid points. However, I do not think Joseline is homophobic. She has already said that she is bi-sexual. She has a number of gay friends,(including you?).

    Joseline may be like me; in that, I love gay men. However, I have no patience with down low men. To lie to a partner about one’s sexual orientation is unforgiveable–a real deal breaker. If a man lies about sleeping with other men, he will lie about anything.

    • MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 12:04 am - Reply

      little kids growing up resort to SUICIDE in black community because of ‘damage spirits’ from damaged -big-mouth-loud-hurt angry adults who forget that GOD loves all his chullin.’

      • Nikki March 15, 2013 at 7:38 am - Reply

        When men have with sex with each other and then go home to have unprotected sex with their wives and girlfriends, it places these women in a precarious position. AIDS is rising fastest amongst African American women. We will not stand for this type of deceit. No man is worth dying for. Come correct, or do not come at all.

        • MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 2:12 pm - Reply

          boo; these uncle-aunt-cousin toms are bringing aids to the community via DRUGS, ‘yo boyfriend sellin rocks type. You buy his obnoxious lyrics in songs (even the lil baby know to call you ‘out yo name)and shake yo butt at ‘da club til he gets mad and drunk and start shooting ‘other boys’ in the neck. This is the dl too; every thing’s out in the open, you just refuse to ‘see.

          • Nikki March 15, 2013 at 2:45 pm -

            Now you’re getting crazy.

  21. Laynell Still Standin Ballard via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:46 pm - Reply

    Typo my gay Self

  22. Laynell Still Standin Ballard via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:45 pm - Reply

    Well I agree but its my Life and I will live it as I Want. To yes I love Gay Self and read ur bibles God loves me more ♡♥♡♥♡♥

  23. Anonymous March 14, 2013 at 8:45 pm - Reply

    I wanted to slap da shit outta jose when i heard da f bomb….

  24. Trisher Sweet via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:37 pm - Reply

    u can keep it real about everything else but u cant keep it real about being gay really?? stand up for who u are and be PROUD!! ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE U!!! a he loves all his children Amen!

  25. Tiff March 14, 2013 at 8:33 pm - Reply

    K has openly admitted to dating women, I think she was trying to attack Kirk because he attacked her. Kirk needs to worry abiut his molestation allegations, rather than worrying about K’s sexual orientation.

  26. Francena McGirt via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:30 pm - Reply

    If a gay man is in the closet and still sleeping with women who do not know he is sleeping with men, that isn’t ok in any version of Earth. Being gay is NOT an insult. Lying about it and sleeping with women who don’t know should be.

  27. AnJaayla Socialite via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:29 pm - Reply

    I don’t see why as If their lives isn’t trash

  28. Just Wondering March 14, 2013 at 8:21 pm - Reply

    I personally don’t think K.Michelle has a problem with homosexuality, I think her issue with Kirk and Mimi’s boyfriend is that they date/married women knowing they are on the down low. I have followed K.Michelle from the beginning of her career when most people didn’t know who she was, and she has always been open about her sexuality. She has admitted to trying to date a woman and wrote song about it, so she’s not bashing she just doesn’t like down low men. People should be mad at Kirk starting this mess.

  29. Kitty SoftPaws Chapman via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:10 pm - Reply

    They use it cause it’s a bruise to a straight mans ego.

  30. Eric Jones via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:03 pm - Reply

    I love the idiots on this status update saying its ok to belittle gay people just because they are in the closet.. get the fuck outta here

  31. Brynden J. Morrow via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:02 pm - Reply

    I just feel like if your gay, then be gay. Like who the fuck cares? anyone who has a problem with a gays or lesbians, they have insecurities that NEED to be worked out.

  32. XOXO March 14, 2013 at 8:02 pm - Reply

    No there’s nothing wrong with being gay, expect when you are, and pretend that you’re not. It’s the deception behind it. I can’t stand DL men. Just be real.

    • MAHAKALA March 15, 2013 at 12:13 am - Reply

      a man can be down low if he wants; dl is also a man who has a wife and a mistress. crickets. Straight people throwing stones and judgement make matters worse. I knew a couple where the wife had a husband and a wife in the ‘hood back in the 60’s; they were minding their own business is the point without hurting the ‘feelings of unimportant strangers.

      • XOXO March 15, 2013 at 1:51 pm - Reply

        No a man CANNOT be DL if he wants (and I’m talking about the gay DL phrase). Personally, I’m sick of these DL men using women to hide the fact that they like dyck because they’re too cowardly to be truthful. To hell with what society says, and frankly, I think they use that BS as an excuse too. The real reason is because they are lying to themselves and can’t/won’t face the fact they are gay (or like banging men). It’s NOT fair to the woman. She did not ask to be a part of his lying deceptive lifestyle. He pulled her into it.

        • Nikki March 15, 2013 at 2:50 pm - Reply

          I’m with you, hugs and kisses. Thanks to my openly gay friends, I know every trick in the book. I can tell a down-low brother from a mile away.

          • XOXO March 16, 2013 at 12:52 pm -

            Me too. I think my DL/gaydar is so sharp, that they run from me. It’s like know I can see right through their lies.

  33. Barbara Dixon via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 8:00 pm - Reply

    Sandra Rose is the worse with it..

  34. snatching your faves wig March 14, 2013 at 7:58 pm - Reply

    he hit the nail RIGHT on the head… kudos

  35. Trey Suchasweetheart Andrews via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:57 pm - Reply

    Why is anyone? I was on a certain blog, and all the “blind items” were, this person is gay, that person is gay. I’m like is this the worst that you can come up with? I’m more appalled by a dead beat parent or a drug addict….

  36. Kisha Irane via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:51 pm - Reply

    Unfortunately, this is nothing new 🙁

  37. Crystal Taniko via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:50 pm - Reply

    If your not it is.

  38. Wyeshia Wright via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:50 pm - Reply

    i wish society would just get over it and let people be comfortable with who they choose to be and quit stigmatizing it…then maybe people could quite living lies… i bet the std rate would go down

  39. Erik Buckley via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:45 pm - Reply

    because they are ignorant bammas that have yet to evolve

  40. Leslie Nomiddlename Vaughn via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:45 pm - Reply

    They fear what they don’t understand.

  41. Myss Nooney via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:45 pm - Reply

    Cuz so many of the cast are trapped in the closet! (oops! did I type that out loud)…

  42. Wyeshia Wright via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:44 pm - Reply

    its not being homosexual thats the issue its lying about it and pretending to be something your not.

  43. Eric Jones via Facebook March 14, 2013 at 7:43 pm - Reply

    Well said, bravo! Yes go in!

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